Saturday, 21 December 2013

The Cute Smile

I was looking for better thoughts
the one which can get me, some awards
I searched on Google, then on some blogs
found a lot, with the disclaimer ON

those illegal stuffs are too risky, I thought
then started reading my blog, from Start
thou I find it a bit irritating,
but was excited, when my grammar was wrong

I was so busy, searching stupid mistakes,
that I forgot, about the angel I have
this was so bad, I still regret
without thinking twice, I went ahead

I knocked on the door, of this heavenly divine
where the "Do not disturb..!!" was hanging outside
I pushed it hard, and went inside
where my daughter was sitting, bright and shine

she saw me staring, standing at the door
asked me to close and join her on the floor,
she was happy playing with the dolls,
while I kept staring the adolescent in her

she asked me twice, to play with her
while I was busy, admiring her
admiring the beauty, the cute smile
and wishing to be always, with her,
for this and the next lifetime...!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

5 Special Gifts

The future lies in the hand of the survivor

I know I made it up, or I don't know the prior existence of this quote, and if you ask me, its a perfect saying, because Have you ever heard a story of a defeated personality ?

The story to tell and the story to create is all everyone is interested into. When we talk about things to be taken care of, the first thing to be sure of, is The Future. And when I talk about future, I bet about 90% of the readers must have thought of their account balance for their children education, providing their child a life with all facilities, a decent marriage ceremony so that Mr.Bhalla, Mr.Gupta, Mr.Shah etc etc should remember it.

Well the beauty and the excitement of life is, Future, always brand new. You never know, what will happen.

Desire is, what I say, never ends. When I compared my life with what I have been through, and what I have accomplished, I decided on every terms of life that, my kids should not face the same situations, and how he/she will handle it, is in his/her hands, but as a father, I will always have a plan B for him/her. You never know what might happen, what will go wrong. Its our job and our duty, to teach our kids what is wrong and how it is wrong. Well, I believe in "try and learn" concept, because when you have never felt it, you have never tried it.

When it come to my kids, I will always have a plan B.
My Plan B will include (on priority basis):

1. A hefty saving amount, so that if I am not there with them, they should not suffer. That saving amount, might be in terms of insurance money, some fixed deposit accounts, or a recurring one. It might be even my wife jeweleries.

If you fear of living alone in a big house, I bet you will have the same fear and pain, when you live with a big family who has no one to take care of, and as savings, there is nothing expect some debts to be paid.

2. A piece of land in Bangalore ( specifically, I would say a flat or two): There was days when we(me and my friends) where shivering in the cold winter days, and the leaking ceiling, which was just adding more pain to the sufferings. And when I think of all these, one thing that always come straight in my mind is to have a proper shelter, where there is no one to say anything, or to question you. My family is from a small town, where opportunities are rare and for me to carry on with my career I have chosen, and to deny the possibilities of changing it, I have to come to Bangalore, the city of hopes, opportunities, facilities.

If you deny on this thought, then I bet you should take a room for rent in Bangalore, and pay the "not so" feasible yet hefty security deposit and then the over priced rents for each month.

3. College to attend: I was never very keen about the university I am in, but the kind of attention you get, when you are in such esteemed colleges, your life becomes so easy that sometimes you just sit, and always think of being there, in your dream place. I also accept that it doesn't matter where you are from, when you have the ability, but I also think that what if you have the skills and ability, and on top of that you are getting the best environment and your own choice to choose whatever career you want.

I bet many will deny on this, but the hardship you have to face, when companies just rejects your application just by judging you on the face of which college you are from, is heart-breaking and painful. And of course No, I will never be the one to let my kids face the same situation.

4. Books: I will surely ask my kids to read Krishna's advice to Arjun, the preachings, the Ramayana, the eternal love stories, the autobiographies, the sci-fi stories and imagine, how words could be the weapon, and blessing too. Well that purely depends on my kid interest, but I will surely ask him to read certain books of my interest, that how beautiful our literature is. You learn so many things from events that never occurred to you, and might be, it never will. These books are so precious that they sometimes, just ask you to be what you are.

5. Lots of Stories: Everyone has their moments of fame and shame. I too have and will definitely be telling my kids about how innocent a story can be to how much you can learn from them.

Or I will just say, how beautiful your parent's memories were, which was multiplied several times after your presence.

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda.

Sunday, 15 December 2013

A Stupid Dream

I caught him looking at me,
asking questions, with no words in it
grinning as if the feast, I cud be
got up from chair, and rushed to me

I was startled, jumped off my seat
went to exit, to clear the mist
but the guy was following, I never believed
took all wrong turns, ended up in a blocked street

the story became more obvious for you,
but I have to add some twist in it,

I was shocked, terrified by him,
was lurking for one door, so that I cud flee
the pounding heart, the pumping blood
made me more red, than I ever was

he came running, and asked for my phone
and I should tell you, I bought an iphone
I was confused, was wondering where is the gun
but I couldn't find the phone, in any pocket I look

I couldn't think, where I had dropped
because the man standing in front of me
was delighted with his grinn
handed me my expensive phone I want,

to my disbelief, I snapped it from him
saw his uneasy looks and fled from it
thou his genrosity, makes me think
was I the victim, or is it the stupid dream ?

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

In Will Graham shoes

Note: Whoever is watching the Hannibal series, this will not be a spoiler at all. :)

These days watching The Hannibal series, which is about a psychotic killer, who feeds on human organs. This series is based on the novel Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. The character 'Will Graham', who is working with the Behavioural Unit to identify the crime scene and the way crime has been committed to catch the killer, is traumatised by the experiences he had in all the crime scenes he was involved. (Up to Season 1 episode 11). I just tried to step in his shoes and wrote these.

I think than rather be asleep,
walk in her shoes, and feel it deep
know the courses, and their way
bow down to her, to accept what she says

but then my mind, cruelty with delight
caught up with insanity, 
find pleasure, in every sight
stand on top, to see the crime
involve in it, to enjoy the diet

empathising is what I do,
reconstructing the scene, 
by putting myself in You
to realise how horrendous it could be

these remains, these exposures
of my heinous crime, 
is still in continuation, 
in the name of fight, 
from the most dangerous play of my confusing mind....!!

Saturday, 5 October 2013


I was striving in the dark,
when my companion came along,
she called my name, and called it twice
while I was skeptical about my wife

I climbed the stool, to reach for the torch
she shouted this time and startled me to fall
my heart was pounding, causing nervous breakdown
when again she shouted, to confirm her power

I again went on, to search for the torch,
when she said 'almost', which I took it for 'ghost'...!!
my stimulus reacted, as fast as light
jumped on the table, which was out of my sight

the jump was enigmatic, but I didn't stop
went directly, behind the refrigerator to hide, 
hitting its door, precipitating on the floor
when Edison's invention filled my room with photons,

but by the time, I was on the floor,
blood oozing out, from forehead and arm
while I was struggling, to stand tall
fortunately got the chair to sit upon,

this was indeed the breathtaking dawn,
fainted after sitting down, feeling the pain 
like stabbing right in the heart, and found myself
with stitches on head, and plasters on arms
surrounded by pillows, while my wife still laughs...!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

The Game

This is insane, this is The Game
I want to play, but no Life remains
went to you, to ask for one, 
while you were curious, for another turn

No tears, No regrets, No cries remains, 
Neither the spirit, nor the strength to gain
losing the simplest Game I played
while watching the stunning beauty, sitting next to my place

The things I always wanted to ask,
has lost its value, in this weird war
the war between my head and heart
making me loose on every part ....!!

Saturday, 31 August 2013

An hour with 'Me'

It was an exotic journey, tiresome too. I realised the importance of money, relationships, mistakes, people around me, their nuisance, their advice, and the most important is their existence. Its always necessary to have someone as a friend or as a enemy. It make you realise the importance and the value of your existence and sometimes the purpose of your life.

Not to be mean with my words, I will always thanks everyone in my life, who left me, who are still there to hold me and kick my butt, who still care, who have double face and many more in this list. Its a awesome journey to carry on, and being loved or hated by someone, is just a mere perspective of an individual. You love to care, and dare to say it. No one will ever be departed until you stop realising that their existence is not, you care about, and when you care for everyone, your existence will fade.

There will always be moments, when you have this feeling of being alone, ignored, which will just become worse when you keep it in yourself. Just give yourself a precious hour of your whole schedule, and you will realise all your mistakes, what should you do, and what you should not do. The  crazy times, when you just call some friends and start talking absurd and laugh on all stupid things and when you sum up all these moments, precious memories are created somewhere in your subconscious. 

The joy you give will find a way back to you, while the pain you give might fade away leaving you with those absurd useful talks which is still there in you somewhere, making you laugh and even bring tears to your eyes. So, hold those moments, smile, shed some tears, laugh out loud, and live. Life is always beautiful...!! 

I realise all of these, and its completely my perspective, may be it differs a lot from all of you reading this, but its my perspective and it will be amazing if someone appreciate it....;)

Saturday, 17 August 2013

The Classroom

I have never been in a situation where I have to regret. I always have my priority set for every conditions. This time, I was in middle of some thing which I neither can avoid nor can I face it. I started a institute with the name 'The Brain Factory'. It was a small educational firm where I thought of educating all the college and the school students in technical field.

It was started in the second week of June, some 3 years ago. I started this institute in my hometown where a lot of people are not very concerned about the technical background a child must possess, so that he could sustain the bitterest fight he may ever face. The starting was not very good, but gradually it was catching up the pace. At the end of first month, there were around 10 students from the locals, of which 6 were from my neighbour. In the next month, to my astonishment a group of 15 students from a school near by named 'WHSMS', came to join and were interested in learning C, Java and SQL. At that time, I was the only teacher teaching, and decided not to put more members, thinking that Varanasi is a small town. But by the end of third month more 20 students joined and the name of my technical institute was known to even to the outskirts of my town. The name was trimmed by students to only B-Factory and at some places it was also known by The BFac. Thou, I love the later name.

It was time and enough savings for me to think about a new decent place, where I could find the necessary things to give the institute its meaning like space, technologies, equipments, etc. The basic problem I faced was to collect all the equipments computers, its parts, tables, chairs, some air conditioner, black boards, etc. These seems to be very easy, but at times when you have to deal with all the local gundas in order to be protected, and keep everything easy and under the table, you are left with no other option than to start your transactions under the table only, away from the eyes of cops which will still make me loose more money than actually saving it. Well anyhow, after another three pathetic months of labour and facing the real face of government and their work flow, I completed my dream, standing in front of the famous Indraprasth Mall, at Sigra. The day ended with lots of pomp's and shows, which was actively participated by some of the local cops, I guess, who didn't got their share. The next day, was the starting of the new era, a new institute to work on nurturing talents, making the upcoming stars to shine brightly. It was a dream come true for me, but seems God has different plans.

The very next day, a group of 10 to 12 people and the number was increasing, were all gathering in front of the institution waiting for me, not allowing any students to enter in the building. As soon as I arrived, I came to know about all this drama, and I was also very casual, because after so much of trouble I faced in building my dreams, I had enough experience to deal with a greedy crazy mob. I thought, paying a certain sum of money will be the answer, but as I said, you never know what's the devil is thinking until you came across one of them. There was already three coaching institute which were running well in that area, and the teachers earning was the black money earned by some rich, filthy ministers or some businessmen. So, they all gathered over there to stop the proceedings with a lame concept of Caste, which says I am not following and allowing a lower caste student to mingle with a higher one. I was stunned to hear the response from the public, that in a world, where technologies is surpassing even human being, these people still believe in caste, religion, colour and sex. I thought those filthy cops might be of some help, but after looking at the mob's agitation, they left immediately.

Now, it was the mob's agitation versus my dream, and I am not gonna make it so easy for them to destroy my dream. I contacted every cops, every ministers in the area, but all were greedy bastards, already filled their pockets. I was left with no option then to close it, or else these people were on the verge of burning it. I could do nothing, all my years of hard work, saving and my dream was all shattered on the ground, with nobody to help. Now, I was left with an empty building, filled with chairs, desk, computers.

I lost all hopes and days passed while my debt was increasing. I started a coaching in my home, teaching students about the basics. These students were more interested in cracking IIT-JEE, AIEEE to join the greatest mind of the world. I was just guiding them for 2 to 3 hours a day, of which I get a decent amount to cover my expenses. Once, in the class, I was sitting alone, thinking about all the horrifying incidents happened and asking questions to myself about the reason of failure, when some students came over to ask some questions from the chapters recently taught.

The first question he asked was : Why does camphor vanishes in thin air, if kept for a prolonged period of time?
and next was : Why is solid sodium dance over water, sparkling the area ?

I was dumbstruck, stunned, excited and after a while the answer I gave was : Its their behaviour.

I got the answer of all my questions, that's its the people's behaviour to protect themselves from any type of danger which might come up in future. Those people were scared of the BFac and in order to save their butts, they find the easy way to destroy BFac.

That at least make me think of an alternative way of how to conquer my dreams again. I started working on it, when I came across a website, where anyone can teach and impart knowledge through video conferencing on Internet or attend classes. I got the answer to all my puzzle, I got the way, I knew that this is perfect, because the fastest growing networks for communication is the Internet and  people were getting more comfortable at home then going out of their houses. I started a website, which do the same thing I saw on Internet, where a person can create a account to take classes or attend classes from other members. It was also not hurting any caste rules and regulations, and it was not effecting anyone, for now.

It all worked very well, the site became popular, which now contains more than thousand video on different topics including Physics, Chemistry, Biology, History, Geography, Computer, Virus, etc etc. It also contains the topic wise video tutorials. It has some 12 billions users and 50 thousands teachers in it. That's what a virtual Classroom I made, without  going out on streets, without bribing anyone and without hurting anyone's occupation.

And I guess, I got enough of what I deserve....!!

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

When I was King...!!

There was that day, when I was king...!!

Thinking of only butter and icecream
Mario and Contra in my dreams
Stories from school, and The 'scenes'
Teacher's scolding and the Bell rings

There was that day, when I was king...!!

Talking of books, and the chapters we skipped
The topics I left, while my friends know it in deep
Test-tubes in labcoat, and H2S released
Sodium on water, and teachers screamed

There was that day, when I was king...!!

The books from library, and the photos we see
Trying hard to sneak in other's sheets
late for school, and the prayers we read
Bombs in bathroom, and the suspensions we achieved

There was that day, when I was king...!!

The beautiful senior girls, and samosa at canteen
rushing for toilets, to get her glimpse
hiding from that girl, who is stalking at you
Still innocent we were, when parents came to know

There was that day, when I was king...!!

Friday, 21 June 2013


Feeling the wind, and its cry
the sorrow of burning, on every sight
days are gone, with nights to come
and I'm still, fixed to be numb

The decent scenes, the horrific love,
the passionate fever, of being dumb
caught myself, in the midst of all
found in chains, when I wanted to run

These dreadful flower, their dying scents,
their purpose of existence, is also none
in this my numbness, is as pinch of salt,
which will add to taste, of the suffering flower

Its hard to believe, harder to expect,
  its still harder, to die on bed
but can't do anything, with my numbness
have to watch this play, sitting on that bench

The bench where, nobody comes,
nobody ask me for a favour once,
under that bench, my dreams were lying
killed my innocence, with the fear to die

I know

I know, I'm stupid

I'm writing up in the dark
with the moon to watch and stars to read
I believe on the events, that never occurred
and lived my life, with false desires

I know, I'm confused

for being silent and diffident
and hesitant to ask, the 'questions' I have 
I wanted to see, that smile on her face
which should remain forever, like the Sun and its flames

I know, I'm negligent

 I made mistakes,
made severe, horrible and heinous mistakes,
still I need those hands, to hold mine and stay forever 
till the last breath I take

I know, I'm vile

thus, She is not mine, and will never be,
because the deserving one, has already died,
and whats left in me, is a remorseful guy
which deserve nothing, just a loosing sight

I know, that's why I write

that one day, she will think for a while
will remember the moments, every time I lied
and laugh out loud with some tears in her eye...!!

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

....She Is....

No wonder how, beautiful she is
in her own tongue, mysterious she is
she laughs out loud, when I fall
and helped me out, to stand out tall

I admire her, for the way she is
I fall in love, every time I see
I believe in her, and lost in it
I worship her, as a Goddess she is

Now, that I revealed the secret to you
don't tell to anyone, because I have to
which I tried a million times,
and was numb when she was around

Her eyes so mischevious, did all the tricks
her lips were numb, but a story teller in it
her expression was, killing me
when I meet her, in the ocean's deep

She cannot hide, the charm in her
it was spreading like, a victorious hymn,
of which I was the listener, and the observer too
because she lives in my heart,
and someone, in her's too....!!

Monday, 6 May 2013

Road to Victory

The time I left sobbing was already gone, and was up again searching for the new moments of happiness. I made up my mind of not to go into that fortress of solitude again, and be a socially active to again follow the life, but all with a heavy heart.

I started early in the morning, with all the luggage, and my favourite spicy Chicken Mcgrill. I was heading towards my home, but this time not through any flying iron bird, or in some crawling snake, rather some of the best and the horrible way of puting yourself in danger. I took my lovely Thunderbird, 350cc to travel a 2184 km ride to my home, and I was pretty happy that after such a disastrous time, I will be at home again for my brother's marriage, and that too in my own grand way, me and my bike, running on the road.

The point of stopping at motels and at the bars is very hollywood type, but I found no other place to spend the night. I was at the leverage of theft or murder, but I was enjoying the 'No Questions', 'No orders', 'No Lies' and on the top, 'No to the same daily routine' part. I don't know why I choose the road to cover this gigantic distance, but it was fun until, I meet a guy, 70 to 75 years of age, chubby, wet in sweat, walking down the road, and smoking the Lites, which I could just smell and tell it.

Well, I should tell you, the fastest way of making friends and being social, is to start smoking. I am not at all encouraging the deadly way to die, thou it helps in attracting other smoke loving people. I was still looking for some shops, for that one smoke to calm my restlessness, which my dear smoking buddy provided at the time of need, and I guess, so we say

Friend in need is a friend indeed.

Well, I gave him the ride he wanted and he gave the lavishing smoke I wanted.

That freezing night, the perfect weather, the cool breeze and the beautiful moon, and then this huge man......!!
I was driving in the night, which after 2 to 3 hours became very hectic, and the sleeping gaint behind me was still snoring so loudly that I have to deliberatly push him backwards so that he could regain his bulky body of about 100kgs or so. Well, after all this snoring and dizziness, I was feeling, I was enjoying the freedom, the ride and my lovely thunderbird sound. I was so into the ride, that for this whole moment, I forgot to ask about this old man's destination. Anyhow, his weight on my shoulders, and the unbeatable sleep, was making me unconcious, when I finally decided to take a room in some motel and sleep for some hours and then drive, again with the fresh, new spirit in the morning.

As I was slowing down near to this motel named, 'Roshni- The Light', the giant man started speaking in some alien language, and fall right there on the road from my bike, I was in no position to save him from the fall, thou I helped him to get up on his feet again. Then, I told the whole scenario about staying in that motel that night, and he agreed to that. I was feeling very sleepy, so I thought of having the conversation again in the morning, and said a careless good night, and headed directly in my room. I was in my dream land as soon as I lied down, and in a moment the Sun was up, on my face saying the most pathetic 'Good Morning' to me.

As I woke up, I went to that man's room and was knocking at the door, when the owner, who was just passing by, came to me to tell that there is noone in that room, it was never been occupied. That was pretty shocking to me, thou I didn't care. I was still happy that I am again with my love, the Thunderbird. So I came to my room again, took bath, and checked out of the motel. I was in the parking lot, when the nuclear warhead just fall on my head directly with out any prior notice.

My love was gone.....!!
My Thunderbird was not there, where I parked....!!

That damn guy, might have taken the keys in the night, when I was very careless and yes, vulnerable too.

I started yelling at everyone, and started checking the logs for his name, or address or any contact number. I was deep buried inside with remorse of offering him the lift, when I found a strange entry in the log with my name again, and address as same as mine, but on remarks, written as "Those who are seeking for themselves, will find the road to victory", making me worried with the familiar phrase, I was reading. Thou it was familiar, but I didn't have any clue where I read that. After lodging a FIR for my lost thunderbird, I took a bus to the airport and flew home, with a sad face and regretting heart.

And this was the moment, when my family was overjoyed, having me in home after an year. So, I was acting normally, but couldn't forgot the loss that incurred to me. After entering and meeting everyone, I came to the grandpa's room, whom I love so much, and just didn't get the chance to say that I adore you. He is my idol, and if you know him, I bet, you will also be a fan of him too. There on the wall, at the pic, I was looking to him, regretting things, I could have done, when he was there with me, and was shocked to read the same words, "Those who are seeking for themselves, will find the road to victory" again. I was standing stunned looking and reading the sentence again and again. I don't know what got into my mind, that I rushed into the garage, and there was my love, sitting there, shining like something, telling me to be calm and happy.

I might not able to explain the trail of events to anyone, but now I believe that He is with me, every moment, every second of my life, guiding me to that road of victory....!!

Friday, 26 April 2013

Confession of an afflicting mind

the fear of being alone, in this crowded nest,
sitting in the room, remembering every one's face
calling my name, aloud, so that everyone could tell
on every shores, its echo remains

the plans I make, is an unexecutable file
the deeds I did, are the punsihable crime
the history I make, is a mysterious dine
with my obsetinable fame and the glory to shine

I don't know the reason, for not speaking it loud,
dying in the shame of, being the undeserving one
and the remorse of things, I never tried
to handle these blames, so that I could survive

Hope One day, I will meet my destiny
will sit with it, to discuss my insanity
and walk with it, so nobody to follow
and lie with it, to taste my sorrow..!!

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Journey from Office to Room & vice versa

There is one called as a happy, lively, relaxing journey, and on the other hand is this journey, I had. I was all about to puke on the road, because of the restlessness I am feeling and on the top is this annoying traffic jam, which you could find at anytime in Bangalore. Well, if you stay in Bangalore, and have to travel everyday, crossing that Silk board and BTM to reach your office, and you do it everyday, then I salute you with both, my hands and my legs too.....;)

Early in the morning,  a long traffic waiting for you and as soon as you cross this traffic, big as Mount Everest(Central Silk Board), another mountain(BTM) is waiting for you, welcoming with both 'his' arms open. I must correct myself, that it must be a 'her', because that traffic is so annoying, probably makes you remember your ex's. Nowadays, seems our dear Sun is also in full mood to put all his energy to burn everything and the rising prices of these volvo buses is another big problem hitting your pocket so severely, and that too in the last week of the month, when eating North Indian food in South India is in itself a big...big task.

Well that is the story of morning, filling your heart with so much frustration that a simple java code compilation can deep fry your brain, left you with one hope and that is to wait for the clock to reach the lunch session, which finishes of so early as if the speed of time is gradually increased to match the speed of light. Now after so many frustating moments, when your roommate call you up telling you about his 'Ek tha dayan' experience,  I bet you will surelly be killing yourself right there sitting in front of that stupid ancient desktop.
Well, I do.......!!

Anyhow, the office hours is over and it gives you a feeling of the last moment of the last period in the school, when you are all set to just listen that bell ringing, to fly off to the school gate.......aaahhh School days.....!!

Now, its in the evening,  when you are waiting for your bus and not a single bus is there, which goes to your area. If you find a bus also, your problems doesn't end here, now you have to face the crowd in that small bus and the irritating bus conductor, who will be trying to fool you to get some 5 or 10 bucks more. Now, if your thinking that, that's all, so I should remind you again that Mount BTM and Mount Silk board are yet to come.

And then my journey ends up, with this buses, and now have to travel another 2.8km + some 100m to reach my room and lie down to pen down my frustration here.
Uffff ......Bangalore's traffic........!!!

BTM traffic

Sunday, 21 April 2013

New phase of life

The atrocities and the conclusion with in the defined rules of the unmanaged world of mine was asking a big question of existence, which is always there with me, making me think of things I must do and the guilt of things I haven't done before. Thou, tragically wonderful, to cherish the beauty of memories, I always feel there can always be something more to it.

I was with all new set of people from different regions, new style of the words and the stories or to be specific, the hidden stories. After, finishing one phase of my life, I was fascinated with the world of new people, new thoughts, new drama and then most important, the new experience. The corporate world is full of drama, believe me, the work, the relations, the  behaviour and the perception of every individual, which in some point of time will be helpful. Well, I experienced the most enigmatic, enthusiastic work environment and the amazing people out there, supporting every newbies. At first, I was bit astonished but it was actually the truth.

In office, where employees are present only with the intention of working, small laughs and some teasing smiles, I found a whole set of new experience while hanging out with them in the office cafeteria. My office is not very big, but it has all sort of things happening in it from springs, hibernate, to TT, singing, damshrastra, and to every fantastic events, which is having full participation with all enthusiastic participants, irrespective of their age.I found myself perfectly fit in this new environment, but there is always a question of what comes next and what might be outcome of such unknown event.

Well, when I am talking about the people,  how could I forget the people's eyes, which is always lurking about things you might do it wrongly, and then the criticism, looks and the giggles you always listen while passing by. Thou, it never effected me, but as I said, individual perception helps you at some point of time, and at others, it can destroy you too.

The air you breathe in is not always toxic, but you should always be alarmed of the environment, so that the air you believe to be so pure to intake, might not turn toxically addictive.

Earning center ;)

The entry was cool and dramatic, to this amazingly new place and to my new phase, where I am earning and spending it, the way I like, but still left me with the same inevitable question of 'what's next ..??'.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

A Thought

Today, whatever I am going to talk is my own perception, built after listening to a lot of people, their views and how they believe in religion, god etc. I being a human being, is not biased and respected every religion, and their beliefs .

I am living in an environment, where a hindu's Shiva is different from a muslim's Allah. I don't know, when everybody is taught about the concept of "God is one", why is everyone so concerned about every individual Gods. They used to believe all the traditional beliefs and are proud enough to exercise in daylight. These traditions, like praying trees, is not because someone lives in that tree, its because of its medicinal value. There is always some reason behind following any rule, belief. Even the whole sole reason for writing holy books is to make people aware of the difference between human being and animals, making them do things which allow people to live and prosper.

God has made this world asking questions and the first one was "Whether to make it or not ?", with just two choices. We know that every coin has two sides, and one side which is exactly oppostie of the other. There is always two and exactly two choices we have and that is either YES or NO. There is nothing called "maybe". If you take any example from studies ,to work, to playground, to exammination hall, to anywhere in the entire world, there will always be two choices with us. It depends on every individual, whether to go for YES or a NO.....!!

The world lives on the principle of "Survival of fittest" making us exactly like animals. Animals follow the same, the weaker section dies, and whats left is consumed by the stronger section. We are the evolved animals, a more powerful breed, the one who is gifted with the ability to think, to believe, to love, & to understand. We have seen people, wars, relations, cruelty and smile, joy, happiness. Then why are we fighting among ourselves for something alien to us , dividing lands, dividing rivers, dividing each of us in races, caste, regions.

Well its simple, its easy, its beautiful if we think before following any traditions, laws, rules, which is hurting us, eating up the human inside us. Since change is the law of nature, we must welcome, new traditions in our life, which brings the whole new world in front of us, a whole new set of tasks, competitions, fun and respect for new ideas, new beliefs.

I hope these thoughts will implant a thought in your mind too.....!!

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Bluntly told

The starting of the world must have been difficult, but the most difficult part of it to sustain so many selfish creature who have their mindset and plans to destroy the only binding that keeps all living being together. It is pretty strange but, it is the truth and the most weird thing about it, is that we know all the stuffs and still we are busy doing it.

Well enough of the gyan I imparted, thou we always cannot be saints and the human touch of happiness, remorse and treachery will always reside in us. So, I just wanted to know how does it feel when the thing you want it badly is the only thing you cannot get or achieve ?
I wanted so many things from this life, but one thing I wanted badly is pretty messed up right now and its own state of mind is not at all worried about anything else. I know that it is quite confusing, but even me getting it clear will take, I guess, a whole lifetime.

Its that thing inside us which always says that go for it, give it a chance, may be you can get or achieve the things you want and a counterpart who will always be saying the opposite. And then all beloved people will help you with the consolation part or with some vague advices.

What if there is a situation when you don't need anybody's help ?
When you don't need the advice ?, because you know it very clearly that its not made for you, or being specific, you don't deserve it.

how do you feel ?,
how do you crave for it ?,
how your desire burns inside, when you don't have anyone to share ?,
how it feels, how it shatters you, how it kills you.....!!!

The story of being the one and binding everyone together with the string called love/relation is now an antique thing and people are more busy with what they get then what they want. If you look closely than the gyan right now I am providing is also might be just a mere concussion or a slight provocation of that emotional tinch after a harsh talk with your beloved ones or a movie or a serial, which, for a moment, changes everything we think. It gives you a new specs which shows what you want it to be and what will happen when you get what you want.

Logistically, all the things I typed will be read and will be forgotten, because its not a nice story, but still I would like to post this weird state of my mind. And I don't blame anyone of having that perception, because its how human behaves. The only things left behind or will effect us is the pain of the memories, the moments you shared. Hence, make it so cherishable, that if again you want to relive a page of past of your life, you might not feel remorse or regret. It should be almost perfect to give a wide smile on your face and a feeling way better than what I am asking, so that the glow on your face with that smile may elighten the whole darkness in you....!!

Thursday, 4 April 2013

A day in GYM


First of all, neglecting all the benefits, its a very painful job to wake up early in  morning just to go and run your ass off, then lift some dumbles and try some triceps, biceps. But when I enter into such an environment, where people with 'dole shole' are moving around with their stiffed muscles and sweaty, stinking body, I always have a thought of why not ME, and there starts my journey of stinking, tired morning, which gradually becomes fresh and energetic.

I was standing in front of my apartments gym and was shocked to realize the fact that it is still 5:30 am, when even the gaurd was sleeping. The frustated guard, with one eye open, wished in a disgraceful manner, passed the key to me and again went back to his hibernation.

I opened the door with great difficulty because of its antique architechture, but  the equipments are new like babies, with the polythene cover still on it. As if its a musuem of all these equipemnts. There is the treadmill, and without anyone behind me or anyone ahead of me, I started running with the incline set at 3 and speed at 9km/hr. After some time a uncle of my apartment entered and it was such an awkward moment, when you are running and someone enter into the gym giving you a fake wide smile, as if he knows me very well and will soon come to hug me for my presence over there.

Well anyhow, after the treadmill chase and catch, I started with the crunches, when I realized that my stomach has became a rubber tube, making every movement so terribly painful and difficult for me. Hail to guys who score a century in these crunches. I was out at 20 only.

Then the dumbles, which is my favoruite. I started dancing with the 2.5 kgs dumble and realized that the population of gym is also increasing. So, I also moved onto 7.5kgs and felt the pain in my biceps after one round only. After all these amazing dancing steps, these mirrors attracts me a lot, as if the 'observing yourself and then others' also comes in my daily schedule of exercise.

After these tiresome jobs, there was no energy left to even stand properly, and the hands are still in pain, heart is not in mood to cool down, and there is this thirst part which was killing me. Anyhow reached my room on first floor, removed the shoes, fall on bed and opened Facebook, where I saw a blog post by one of my senior which made me to start writing and here it is what I wrote......!!

Saturday, 30 March 2013

'Still', at your SIGHT

 they told me to write,
the stuffs with knife
and I made some mistakes,
in that alluring sight

I thought the time,
will stand still
when in midst of all,
you were there

you turned around with a pleasant smile,
expecting me to enlighten the sight,
to move my legs, and cover that mile
and help to collect her files, which were lying

When watching you, was my deepest desire,
and getting a reply, is like burning fire
thou I reacted, in an awful style,
was on the floor with all the files

you were startled with that grin
when my friends came to enjoy the fete,
surpassing all, again you smiled
and I hold my heart in front of your eyes

I know the magic in the weather,
the wind was singing SRK's flavour
and birds joined, my augmented delight
to made me 'Still, at your Sight'....!!

Saturday, 23 March 2013


It was written long back, when I was searching job in the Silicon Valley of India. Those days made learn a lot of things and experience the tough but enjoyable days. This was the fight, which I fought everyday with everyone's perception, the physics laws which was asked in mnc's, recruitment drive calls, and the ever surrounding objects in Java.


the whooshing sound of wind blowing around,
the immovable objects now making sound,
apart from being among these objects,
I am experiencing the Einstein law..!!

the moving world,
the rushing crowd,
all turning on the verge of my heart,
when everyone is conscious about their subtle unconscious mind,

what a destiny, which I am creating on,
keeping the momentary irony of calls,
hoping it would be someday,
when the message will arrive about my paycheck,

but still in these objects, is my home
where destiny is not the only one to blame
the hero in me, has already died
but left me to survive the lethal fight !!

Thursday, 21 March 2013

The Enchanting Sleep

The blowing wind, soothing the harshness caused by the flaming Sun, with the birds singing, and my dearest Mr.Rooster, who always wake me up earlier than even other roosters and always make me yell to “Stop it please..!!”. The grooviest of all, is my maid with a broom in her hand standing right in front of the door, as if some goddess became angry with my sleeping habits and send a destroyer with a weapon of choice, asking me in some sluggish language to come out of bed. Such pain, that too early in the morning is not at all tolerable. I suggest everyone to be aggressive and charge, whomsoever knock at your door early in the morning and trying to wake you up. Sleeping is just a beautiful discovery by some anonymous which is lot better than the Moore's Law, or Newton's apple, or Einstien' speed of light.

The pathetic night, when I am surrounded by my old laptop that too without battery, running directly on alternating current with the Sony two in one music system and the most irritating broken laptop's charger which need to be adjusted every second when you move your butt. Then there is this damn ashtray which is always lost and I have to find it everyday after smoking half the ciggrate when the ashes are almost hanging, giving a picture of dropping the atombomb any where it want. I almost forgot the best of best, my roommate tingling, vibarting mobile which always notify me of my relationship status. Such tragic nights become so peaceful when you sleep leaving all your worries out of the window, like cigarette's smoke which vanishes away in a moment of time.

Its the beauty of the unconscious mind which plays a movie(starring Elisha  Cuthbert) and sometimes serials(starring Nina Dobrev) too, back in my mind when I am asleep. The best part is that I am always the hero, saving Elena from vampires, werewolf's or villains and people calling my name aloud where I am getting all the attention and even sometimes I will be saving superhero's ass from some unknown villain and then I realize.....”jada hogya boss...!!”.

And these dreams are like a complete hangover, where you remember only bits and pieces, as if my mind is washed using the Vanish Oxi Action dream remover. The princess's face, the superhero I saved etc etc all hide into some memory block of my unconsious mind. That is the time when I come into the original world confused still figuring "Whom did I save today ?", and open the door where that maid is still standing with the broom and to my utter astonishment that ashtray is again missing and then I wake up.....!!

Monday, 18 March 2013

A dream come true....!!

 A Winning Performance

A young executive bitting her nails off, and killing the innocence of her face, her eyes were glued on the screen and legs folded. Her body seems as if the bundle of sticks tied together. She is fair enough to illuminate every corner of the room, with smoking red hot dress, sitting on the edge of the sofa, and with the sudden charge of stimulus, her anxiety is flowing in the form of yelling and screaming out so loud that even I got scared on the first glance and then adjusted to the situation. Its the biggest final match of World cup 2011, India vs Sri Lanka. Every person was hoping to dance on grounds and in the streets with the Indian flag in hand making it a blissful environment at the end.

The lady was beautiful with reddish cheeks and glowing eyes. Her hair was all tucked up in some weired way, which was looking damn sexy on her. I was so stunned by the beauty of this lady and the beautiful shots played by Kohli after Tendulkar dismissal. It was Kohli and Gambhir, who put together an 83 run paternship, and built the stage for him. The master strokes played by Gambhir was amazing enough for me to distract me from that awestruck beautiful lady. It was the amazing ambiance also which is making the game a real lively event. Where else can you imagine such an environment apart from a country where people forget about their national game and very “Truly Madly Deeply” involved in Cricket.

Well, it was the time when India was an inch away from victory when this lady stood up and started shouting in the crowd with others and jumping over the sofa's. It was a tough job for the manager of the bar to hold her and make her sit. Though her beauty was still the enigmatic and enchanting, making me completely forgot about our captain's marvelous shots. The amazing inning of Dhoni of 91 on 79 deliveries put enough energy in every person standing to dance and shout to go for one more extra peg. I wonder why bars have such dark, devil's way of representation. Anyhow, the match excitement was still on its peak when Dhoni ended it by hitting a beautiful six (not as beautiful as that lady thou) , and here we became the third nation to lift the world cup more than once.

This lady's charismatic appearance made the match extra exciting and as I was saying from the starting, the most "beautiful" one, as I could have ever imagined. Later, after Mr.Dhoni became the Man of the match, I rushed towards this lady to ask her name, who in a flick of time, disappeared as the wind blows and you never know that it exists. Well, the day was nail bitting and amazing as we became the world's best team and Sachin Tendulkar, finally, got a visual delight in the finals, with his dream becoming a reality.

HAIL INDIA.....!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Glimpse of War

Glimpse of War

keep on walking
until u meet the ONE,
keep on thinking
until u breach the code,
keep the things, 
far more worse
to understand the beginning
of the dreaded world,

keep on walking
until demand is meet,
keep the thought 
to the highest bid,
and welcome the heart
with the finest tears,
and keep lights on
that show NO fear

I choose my path
and the battle of my thoughts,
I keep the "fast"
to tackle all my probs,
to find the glory
among the weeping swords,
and choose to walk
until I reached my HEART

A way to surrender
to the cruelest of all,
I beg my heart
for the pity I want,
I choose to bow
in domain of my darkest part,
So that my deeds could shine
like the gleaming sword.

Thus I walked,
I walked upon,
with memories of journey
and trip to my heart,
and its time for me
to get the Glimpse of the War !! 

Monday, 4 March 2013


Use these three words in your post ‘Little Girl, Toy, Scared’

Its a sad tale, it originated in that grave,
where people live on caste and shame,
their admant nature is making them pay,
and believing on some lousy fame

Our society is made with so many rules and regulations which we follow at every stage of our life. We never ask why we are still believing in those craps which are worthless. We are just following it in order to be safe, Safe from that unknown creature which is not having any shape, structure, or mass.

The greatest of all the species in the whole universe, who is given the power to think, manipulate and execute is still scared of an invisible force. Such an irony, that when everything is now being proved scientifically, we still believe in “chamatkar” to happen. I never deny the fact that there is some Supreme power which created the whole world, but does it anytime say that you should not talk to a low caste people, be biased with the region, religion or should do some pooja to escape from some unknown incident, which even you don't know will happen or not.

The little girl crying at the roadside for a loaf of bread and people prefer to waste their money and eatables goods as investment in God's work which will save them, when they are doing all the bad things. Its like buying a product from the shop. God give me this, I will crack coconuts every friday, sunday.

The worst is yet to tell, when toys are replaced with guns and made young boys to fight battle in name of religion. If you are agreeing to these and still think you are doing the right things, then I guess the meaning and the purpose of your life on this earth will end from that particular day. Then there will be no relation to worship and no joy left, because the world will die a horrific death and the reason will the your skeptical nature, which thinks that human relations comes after the God.
It will be the end, end of the existence of love, joy, adolscence and will be left with some insane people, who will again find some other occupation to decieve people and loot money.

"A man is the product of thoughts, what he thinks is what he becomes."

So, stop being so lame in believing things which are imaginary. These holy books, chants are made to smoothen life and learn more about how to cherish and enjoy every moment. To learn from others and impart knowledge, to define a bond among every human being which will form the existence of a new World without hatred, pain and death.

"Where there is love, there is Life...!!"

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Mind - A friend

It looks so amusing when you try something very unfamiliar and then with a lot of nut-head's advice you actually go for it and find yourself in deep deep shit. I am still fascinated by a lot of things and am actually looking forward to complete it in this phase of my life, but that's totally a different story. 

It was pretty amazing to know that people with different thinking, perceptions are actually having the same mentality when it comes to do something new and, but obvious, Love too. I am not denying the fact that exceptions are there, but still you will find a lot of people with the same thoughts on the same event, incidents etc.

I thought of writing about thoughts because what I had experienced, was shockingly fascinating when I find people having the same story and are actually going on the same path where I had been in my turn of events. Though fascinating to know, but still I always have a second thought that if everyone is going on the same path, or will be in future, then
Why don't we listen to people with experience, who faced it already ?
Why we wait until it happens with us and then we realize our mistakes ?

We know that things might get a bit awkwardly unexpected and maybe tragic sometimes, but still we follow the same line of path what other advice us not to. Its in habit of I guess a 70% of all human being. Then some of us curse God, some curse others and regret everything what they did.

Well, I am talking about the other side of the coin only, it may be the case that sometimes people ignore to what other say and actually become successful, get what they want. Its just the perception I am having that every now and then I find people listening to their heart and ignoring what mind tell. I had been in those condition and I am not the extraordinary one, I also fall in the same pit and the realize my mistakes later.

The story behind writing and give “gyan” is just to make people know that besides heart there is a very powerful, amazing, and governing part of our body, and that's called Brain. So have a second thought of whatever you do, you might get stucked sometimes but anyhow you will find that mind is not the one everytime, which decieve you.

And the most important, that you can listen to both heart amd mind, and follow anyone of them, and even ignore them. Sometimes just saying a “No” is quite safer than following other's “Yes”.

So listen to your heart, and then tell it to your mind....!!!


Sunday, 24 February 2013

Conflicting Mind

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Revolve a story around this line :

‘My heart was saying “Yes” but my head was saying “No”‘


I never understood why there is so much conflict or no coordination between the most beautiful part of my body and the part which makes everything beautiful. By now you might have guessed it that the parts I am talking about is above your waist line. Its the heart and the mind which always fight together and make me confused.

I am still wondering why I said “No”, when my heart was the only one saying the truth. I know the consequences is damn ugly and yet I am revolving around that day when my heart and mind were planning a deep deep conspiracy against me.

It was the day when I decided to propose Ramya and was all equipped, even with the first aid kit. The day started as I planned, waking up late and then struggling to get the bus to school which ends up again being punished in front of whole school. I was way above all these thoughts of being ashamed rather I was just looking for the best time to get it all done.

Ramya, was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Well, telling you truly, it was the love at first sight. Her irresistible charm, being brilliant to look upon and listen to, with the power to subjugate everyone, didn't spare me also. She was willowy with long dark lustrous hair. I was in love with this lady for the first time in my life and was just collecting enough energy to tell her that she is the One for me.

The beauty, the color, the voice all make me mad enough to forget everything and completely lost in a distant land without water making me thirsty of her. I was ready to go on with the plan. I called her on the stairs which remained desolated for the first half time of school. I kept practicing in the Romeo pose, bent over, on my knees and saying the golden three words. As the bell rang for the next period, she came running with the envelope in hand and was completely shocked by the awkward position I was in. I managed to get up and regained my posture, when she came close and told me the most disgusting news ever of my life.

She was holding the tickets to South Africa, where her parents are now shifting to. I was in lot of pain but that's what love makes you do “Smile in pain!!”. I was smiling with her laughs. She was leaving in 2 days and I was still clueless how to tell her. After an hour or so, when I collected myself and asked the question which I never wanted to ask “Will you come back ?” and the answer was as expected, “No”. She then justified her point, that they are leaving the town forever, and will settle in SA.

I was completely broken and wanted her to stay, but all went wrong what I planned and there's nothing I could do. In the last period, she came and asked “ Do you want to say something ?” and to my utter foolishness, I bluntly replied “No !!”. I was so disheartened that I could not make any decision and ended up with that reply.

It was the moment when I should obediently listened to my heart and ask her to don't go, but my mind dominated heart's decision, which I still regret. It would have been a very different world with her. Sometimes these gray matter in our brain make us do things which we really regret.

I lost that moment and the time that I could have spent with her. May be that's why people say,

“Patience is what it takes for a normal human being to become extraordinary”.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Writing to me

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

What is writing like? Write a post that includes this phrase, “Writing to me is…”

Writing to me is as if Krishna's(God) advice to Arjuna(People). I write because I love expressing what I feel, what I have been through, what I enjoyed. It gives me the eternal pleasure that needs no words to express. Its good to write, because this 'friend' will never betray me, will never leave me, will always listen to me and will laugh with me on my faults and will always be a clean mirror reflecting ME.

I tried something new. Lets see if all my readers like it.


A discovery was made,
When the sun was set
when life is resting on their softest bed
and winds are soothing the fuming land

I was awake, watching the change
I was searching, the creator of this den
when I found this pen in my hand
and wrote the story of the spirits in hell

I started with love and then with sorrow
I continued to write about the world so hollow
I find many people are in the same pit
where I was lying with the embarassing shits

It sounds so disgusting,
its sounds so lame,
but writing the feelings,
made me to do the same,

You are inquiring the pessimist in me
you are questioning the sleeping tree
I want to answer but I am dumb
and so gave these letters, the power of my words.....!!