Friday, 26 April 2013

Confession of an afflicting mind

the fear of being alone, in this crowded nest,
sitting in the room, remembering every one's face
calling my name, aloud, so that everyone could tell
on every shores, its echo remains

the plans I make, is an unexecutable file
the deeds I did, are the punsihable crime
the history I make, is a mysterious dine
with my obsetinable fame and the glory to shine

I don't know the reason, for not speaking it loud,
dying in the shame of, being the undeserving one
and the remorse of things, I never tried
to handle these blames, so that I could survive

Hope One day, I will meet my destiny
will sit with it, to discuss my insanity
and walk with it, so nobody to follow
and lie with it, to taste my sorrow..!!

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Journey from Office to Room & vice versa

There is one called as a happy, lively, relaxing journey, and on the other hand is this journey, I had. I was all about to puke on the road, because of the restlessness I am feeling and on the top is this annoying traffic jam, which you could find at anytime in Bangalore. Well, if you stay in Bangalore, and have to travel everyday, crossing that Silk board and BTM to reach your office, and you do it everyday, then I salute you with both, my hands and my legs too.....;)

Early in the morning,  a long traffic waiting for you and as soon as you cross this traffic, big as Mount Everest(Central Silk Board), another mountain(BTM) is waiting for you, welcoming with both 'his' arms open. I must correct myself, that it must be a 'her', because that traffic is so annoying, probably makes you remember your ex's. Nowadays, seems our dear Sun is also in full mood to put all his energy to burn everything and the rising prices of these volvo buses is another big problem hitting your pocket so severely, and that too in the last week of the month, when eating North Indian food in South India is in itself a big...big task.

Well that is the story of morning, filling your heart with so much frustration that a simple java code compilation can deep fry your brain, left you with one hope and that is to wait for the clock to reach the lunch session, which finishes of so early as if the speed of time is gradually increased to match the speed of light. Now after so many frustating moments, when your roommate call you up telling you about his 'Ek tha dayan' experience,  I bet you will surelly be killing yourself right there sitting in front of that stupid ancient desktop.
Well, I do.......!!

Anyhow, the office hours is over and it gives you a feeling of the last moment of the last period in the school, when you are all set to just listen that bell ringing, to fly off to the school gate.......aaahhh School days.....!!

Now, its in the evening,  when you are waiting for your bus and not a single bus is there, which goes to your area. If you find a bus also, your problems doesn't end here, now you have to face the crowd in that small bus and the irritating bus conductor, who will be trying to fool you to get some 5 or 10 bucks more. Now, if your thinking that, that's all, so I should remind you again that Mount BTM and Mount Silk board are yet to come.

And then my journey ends up, with this buses, and now have to travel another 2.8km + some 100m to reach my room and lie down to pen down my frustration here.
Uffff ......Bangalore's traffic........!!!

BTM traffic

Sunday, 21 April 2013

New phase of life

The atrocities and the conclusion with in the defined rules of the unmanaged world of mine was asking a big question of existence, which is always there with me, making me think of things I must do and the guilt of things I haven't done before. Thou, tragically wonderful, to cherish the beauty of memories, I always feel there can always be something more to it.

I was with all new set of people from different regions, new style of the words and the stories or to be specific, the hidden stories. After, finishing one phase of my life, I was fascinated with the world of new people, new thoughts, new drama and then most important, the new experience. The corporate world is full of drama, believe me, the work, the relations, the  behaviour and the perception of every individual, which in some point of time will be helpful. Well, I experienced the most enigmatic, enthusiastic work environment and the amazing people out there, supporting every newbies. At first, I was bit astonished but it was actually the truth.

In office, where employees are present only with the intention of working, small laughs and some teasing smiles, I found a whole set of new experience while hanging out with them in the office cafeteria. My office is not very big, but it has all sort of things happening in it from springs, hibernate, to TT, singing, damshrastra, and to every fantastic events, which is having full participation with all enthusiastic participants, irrespective of their age.I found myself perfectly fit in this new environment, but there is always a question of what comes next and what might be outcome of such unknown event.

Well, when I am talking about the people,  how could I forget the people's eyes, which is always lurking about things you might do it wrongly, and then the criticism, looks and the giggles you always listen while passing by. Thou, it never effected me, but as I said, individual perception helps you at some point of time, and at others, it can destroy you too.

The air you breathe in is not always toxic, but you should always be alarmed of the environment, so that the air you believe to be so pure to intake, might not turn toxically addictive.

Earning center ;)

The entry was cool and dramatic, to this amazingly new place and to my new phase, where I am earning and spending it, the way I like, but still left me with the same inevitable question of 'what's next ..??'.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

A Thought

Today, whatever I am going to talk is my own perception, built after listening to a lot of people, their views and how they believe in religion, god etc. I being a human being, is not biased and respected every religion, and their beliefs .

I am living in an environment, where a hindu's Shiva is different from a muslim's Allah. I don't know, when everybody is taught about the concept of "God is one", why is everyone so concerned about every individual Gods. They used to believe all the traditional beliefs and are proud enough to exercise in daylight. These traditions, like praying trees, is not because someone lives in that tree, its because of its medicinal value. There is always some reason behind following any rule, belief. Even the whole sole reason for writing holy books is to make people aware of the difference between human being and animals, making them do things which allow people to live and prosper.

God has made this world asking questions and the first one was "Whether to make it or not ?", with just two choices. We know that every coin has two sides, and one side which is exactly oppostie of the other. There is always two and exactly two choices we have and that is either YES or NO. There is nothing called "maybe". If you take any example from studies ,to work, to playground, to exammination hall, to anywhere in the entire world, there will always be two choices with us. It depends on every individual, whether to go for YES or a NO.....!!

The world lives on the principle of "Survival of fittest" making us exactly like animals. Animals follow the same, the weaker section dies, and whats left is consumed by the stronger section. We are the evolved animals, a more powerful breed, the one who is gifted with the ability to think, to believe, to love, & to understand. We have seen people, wars, relations, cruelty and smile, joy, happiness. Then why are we fighting among ourselves for something alien to us , dividing lands, dividing rivers, dividing each of us in races, caste, regions.

Well its simple, its easy, its beautiful if we think before following any traditions, laws, rules, which is hurting us, eating up the human inside us. Since change is the law of nature, we must welcome, new traditions in our life, which brings the whole new world in front of us, a whole new set of tasks, competitions, fun and respect for new ideas, new beliefs.

I hope these thoughts will implant a thought in your mind too.....!!

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Bluntly told

The starting of the world must have been difficult, but the most difficult part of it to sustain so many selfish creature who have their mindset and plans to destroy the only binding that keeps all living being together. It is pretty strange but, it is the truth and the most weird thing about it, is that we know all the stuffs and still we are busy doing it.

Well enough of the gyan I imparted, thou we always cannot be saints and the human touch of happiness, remorse and treachery will always reside in us. So, I just wanted to know how does it feel when the thing you want it badly is the only thing you cannot get or achieve ?
I wanted so many things from this life, but one thing I wanted badly is pretty messed up right now and its own state of mind is not at all worried about anything else. I know that it is quite confusing, but even me getting it clear will take, I guess, a whole lifetime.

Its that thing inside us which always says that go for it, give it a chance, may be you can get or achieve the things you want and a counterpart who will always be saying the opposite. And then all beloved people will help you with the consolation part or with some vague advices.

What if there is a situation when you don't need anybody's help ?
When you don't need the advice ?, because you know it very clearly that its not made for you, or being specific, you don't deserve it.

how do you feel ?,
how do you crave for it ?,
how your desire burns inside, when you don't have anyone to share ?,
how it feels, how it shatters you, how it kills you.....!!!

The story of being the one and binding everyone together with the string called love/relation is now an antique thing and people are more busy with what they get then what they want. If you look closely than the gyan right now I am providing is also might be just a mere concussion or a slight provocation of that emotional tinch after a harsh talk with your beloved ones or a movie or a serial, which, for a moment, changes everything we think. It gives you a new specs which shows what you want it to be and what will happen when you get what you want.

Logistically, all the things I typed will be read and will be forgotten, because its not a nice story, but still I would like to post this weird state of my mind. And I don't blame anyone of having that perception, because its how human behaves. The only things left behind or will effect us is the pain of the memories, the moments you shared. Hence, make it so cherishable, that if again you want to relive a page of past of your life, you might not feel remorse or regret. It should be almost perfect to give a wide smile on your face and a feeling way better than what I am asking, so that the glow on your face with that smile may elighten the whole darkness in you....!!

Thursday, 4 April 2013

A day in GYM


First of all, neglecting all the benefits, its a very painful job to wake up early in  morning just to go and run your ass off, then lift some dumbles and try some triceps, biceps. But when I enter into such an environment, where people with 'dole shole' are moving around with their stiffed muscles and sweaty, stinking body, I always have a thought of why not ME, and there starts my journey of stinking, tired morning, which gradually becomes fresh and energetic.

I was standing in front of my apartments gym and was shocked to realize the fact that it is still 5:30 am, when even the gaurd was sleeping. The frustated guard, with one eye open, wished in a disgraceful manner, passed the key to me and again went back to his hibernation.

I opened the door with great difficulty because of its antique architechture, but  the equipments are new like babies, with the polythene cover still on it. As if its a musuem of all these equipemnts. There is the treadmill, and without anyone behind me or anyone ahead of me, I started running with the incline set at 3 and speed at 9km/hr. After some time a uncle of my apartment entered and it was such an awkward moment, when you are running and someone enter into the gym giving you a fake wide smile, as if he knows me very well and will soon come to hug me for my presence over there.

Well anyhow, after the treadmill chase and catch, I started with the crunches, when I realized that my stomach has became a rubber tube, making every movement so terribly painful and difficult for me. Hail to guys who score a century in these crunches. I was out at 20 only.

Then the dumbles, which is my favoruite. I started dancing with the 2.5 kgs dumble and realized that the population of gym is also increasing. So, I also moved onto 7.5kgs and felt the pain in my biceps after one round only. After all these amazing dancing steps, these mirrors attracts me a lot, as if the 'observing yourself and then others' also comes in my daily schedule of exercise.

After these tiresome jobs, there was no energy left to even stand properly, and the hands are still in pain, heart is not in mood to cool down, and there is this thirst part which was killing me. Anyhow reached my room on first floor, removed the shoes, fall on bed and opened Facebook, where I saw a blog post by one of my senior which made me to start writing and here it is what I wrote......!!